My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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