Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
