Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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