I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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