Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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