wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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