You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
