but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
