Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
