Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
