just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
