I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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