I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
