Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She is in my trunk
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
