So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
