i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
