he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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