Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
