he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
