"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
