After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize