I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
