I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
