I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
