I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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