Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
how does that bad decision feel?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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