it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
