More tranny stories later!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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