i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize