im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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