He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
