I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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