I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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