sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
