Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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