I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
