Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
