This girl is more easily done than said...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
