I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Shame - the story of my life.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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