your parents love me but you hate me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize