fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize