Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
