During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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