it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here