I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult