Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
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He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
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Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.