she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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