Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
