My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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