Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Rumble strips road head = magical
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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