just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
