oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
