I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
