I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
