wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
