The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
