OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
