My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
