Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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