I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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