Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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