Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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