Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
