can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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