Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
