I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
dude. I can hear the air.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
