he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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