SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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