Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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