Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
