The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
